In today’s world, where the boundaries of male and female responsibilities are almost blurred and the rights are equal, the opposite sex has become practically replaceable with each other in their performance in the society life. The struggle for equality has led to equal responsibility, which is generally reasonable. This also applies to duties and role in family. Today, parents are interchangeable. Dads are not always breadwinners, moms can not to sit at home and be housewives.
Different people can treat this situation in different ways. But modern psychologists believe that this should be considered as a new potential for the development of each of the family members. That is useful for the child. Especially in cases of a single parent family.
But despite parents are equal and capable to play each other role in family in caring and raising the child, this is only one hand of the question. Other thing is the symbolic value of “male” and “female” in the unconscious of the child. Here distinction is necessary – they affects the formation of the child’s identity and his mental health.
Mother’s role in family
Mother’s role in family is more obvious. Therefore, some people believe it is more important. This is so, because a mother starts to interact with a baby since the early beginning. When he is in her belly.
And at first months after the birth mother’s role in family is more important, than father’s role. This actually lasts until 3 years. This is the time when the child’s Ego is born from his unconscious. Here the child is on the mother’s shore. He experiences himself as a mother (both girls and boys), loves his mother and identifies with her.
A mother for a child is the whole world. Her physical proximity is very important for him. It is necessary for a baby to be surrounded by attention and care to feel the favor of the world. This is the only way to build trust in people. Besides, if the child has good emotional contact with the mother and feels safe there will be developed a stable character and a good idea of himself. And mother’s love is unquestioning. She loves her child just like that. Mom’s love stands before any accusation against her child and protects him.
Although sometimes, for example due to their own complexes, mothers can not love their baby. This way they require to “pay” for their praise and warm feelings with obedience and success at school. But we should understand this is not normal
It is important to be able not only to accept, but also to give love. And mother teaches both of that. If in giving us love the mother participates directly, in the science to give love she is the main example. We watch how mother lives, what’s her priorities, how to relate to people and the world.
Father’s role in family
Dad can take care of children as well as mom and father’s love is as strong as mom’s. Then what is his special role in the life of a child?
Since a baby has been born, the dad is no longer has a secondary role in family, as before. The exception is his own free will to be so. The father takes care of the child no less than the mother. This way, the kid can understand that the father and the mother is a family, in which all are equal. In such families, children grow up less prone to competition and more able to get compromise.
Father’s love is arranged a little differently. Fathers show more interest to the child and bringing up, when he has a talent or can do something in a good way. Thus, while mother’s love allows not to lose faith in yourself, father’s love is a good motivation to grow up, develop and win. That is one of his role in family and in the child’s life. But it must be remembered, that in general, father’s love should be unconditional as mother’s love. Because babies feel the attitude very well and it affects them a lot.
Another big father’s role in family about bringing up is, according to the psychoanalytic concept, to helps the child to accept the restrictions that need to be learned on the growing up way. Such as the rejection of the mother’s breast in favor of a varied diet, or mother’s hands in favor of independent walking. Once the child realizes the father’s presence between him and the mom, he starts to development in this direction.
Breaking the dyad mother–child, the father establishes a ban on incest – a fundamental law for humanity. Which gets and stays in the child’s unconscious forever. He learns that not all his desires can be satisfied, in particular – the desire to return to the mother’s womb. Thus, the father becomes a symbol of prohibition for the child. With these restrictions and a learn how to live among other people.
Who’s role in family is more important?
There can’t be the right answer to the question, because the question is incorrect itself. As no one can live without both air and water, no one either can develop in a proper way without both mom’s and dad’s influences. No one role in family is more important than other. And a child needs both mother’s love and father’s love. Unfortunately, in situations with a single parent families the roles should be done by one parent.