Lack of mother’s love in childhood is usually considered to be receiving not enough love from parents, along with their tenderness and warmth. And also those, who were brought up mostly outside the family. And it is not always about the children from dysfunctional families, children’s boarding houses or orphanages. It is sad, but in full and wealthy families, children are often underloved too.
Lack of mother’s love given in childhood affects all the future child’s life. It determines his whole adult life: whether he become successful or join the ranks of losers, whether he will feel easy in life or he will live in a world full of threats.
All this is really reasonable, because till five years old the mother and the father are identified with the whole world. Their attitude to the little man is affects him, giving or, on the contrary, taking away a reliable mechanism of self-confidence in their right to have a place under the sun.
How does having not loving mother affect a child?
This is the first thing affected be the lack of mother’s love. As at first a child evaluates himself not independently, but through the words and actions of his mother. And if she does not love him, he will think this is how it should be. With the development of the ability to think logically, the situation does not improve, but getting worse. Because he thinks “even if my mom does not love me – no one will.”
Trust and relationships
There is no trust to people after bringing up with lack of mother’s love. And all the problems in future will be solved only on their own. This leads to taking on an unbearable burden without any need for it. A child who had not loving mother will never feel the satisfaction of life. He will only fight with the whole world and with himself, proving his importance. But at the same time deeply inside he doesn’t not believe in it.
Child who had not loving mother difficultly trusts people throughout the life. He always thinks that if someone talk to him, there is always a with a certain aim or ask. Such feelings arise from the general feeling of unreliability of the world. Which caused by the experienced with mother who keeps getting closer and then pushes all the time.
The grown-up child always need confirmation that feelings and relationships can be trusted and the next day she will not be pushed away. “Do you really love me? Why aren’t you talking? You’re not leaving me?»
But at the same time, unfortunately, grown-up children themselves reproduce in all their relationships only the type of affection that they had in childhood. True love for them is an obsession, an all-consuming passion, magical power, jealousy and tears.
Good relationships full of trust seems to be unrealistic or boring.
Besides, one of the main reasons why teenagers begin their sexual life so early today is too early and abrupt deprivation of bodily contact with the mother. And in searching for its replacement, they make sexual contact. A mother’s love and caress is necessary for a child at any age.
Depressions and desire of death
Getting from the nearest human, which is the mother, not enough confidence of his own relevance and importance for the world, or in worst cases becoming sure these issues don’t exist at all, the grown-up man subconsciously or directly seeking for death.
He will get diseases and troubles. Very often the disease is a continue of the children’s protest to lack of mother’s love and care. He remembers when he had a cold and the world began to spin around him as a patient. Subconsciously this can lead to chronic diseases in order to get more attention. And the perception of an underloved child, he will carry through all the life.
There is one more problem appear because of lack of mother’s love, that is fully expressed at teenage. This is about physical appearance. The child may not like his body and do not make effort to take care about it. This appearance and health neglecting often reach asceticism.
All these affects the quality of the life in a bad way. That is why this question must be discussing. It is important to forgive your parents, be better than them. Being an adult conscious man, we can take responsibility of our lives. This means realize the problem and solve it by yourself or with the help of the specialist. So, that underloving in childhood don’t affect you now.
And what is more important, you should take responsibility for your child and don’t make the same mistakes as your parents. Love your child and this little man will love you back!