We all think we’re good parents. Is it true? What qualities of the parents can be considered bad and what good? Each of us wants to be an authority, a friend, and an example for a daughter or a son. However, the wrong approach to education and bad relationships with children can lead to misunderstanding and hatred between you and the child.
First of all, you should remember that best and normal parents see their child as a person and personality. Worst parents see child as anything but not a person: the heir/successor of sorts, 2.0 version of their life, the embodiment of failed ambitions and dreams, a toy for carding their ego, the responsibility towards the society (everybody give birth, we should too).
Many parents don’t even realize that they give poor education to their child. Rough words and actions can cause emotional and mental harm to children. Parents shouldn’t particularly value child rearing.
Worst qualities of the parents:
Parents only advise, not support
This parent approves only the highest marks. He doesn’t support the child, doesn’t say pleasant words to him: “You are clever and quick-witted, you can do everything”, “Let me understand you and you can get good grades”
Worst parents don’t let the child to themselves
Do you have to constantly attract attention to yourself? Thus, he shows that he lacks your warmth or emotional communication. Perhaps it is simply absent in your relationship. Think about it!
Parents scold a child even when he is telling the truth
Your child accidentally broke something in your bedroom, but honestly admitted his guilt? If you scold him anyway, then you are a bad parent. You can say that he has everything he needs to speak about the truth.
Worst parents publicly punish and beat child
It doesn’t matter to whom you scold your child, family or strangers. Such an “upbringing” causes enormous mental damage and develops only fear and self-doubt in children. All punishments should occur only in private.
Worst parents don’t want to understand and respect the child’s feelings
It seems to you that your child is telling some sort of nonsense and he is still too small to say the right and reasonable things? This is absolutely unacceptable! You may be infinitely right, but at least learn to listen and perceive your child.
Worst parents don’t show how to act properly
You do not have to simply indicate how to clean the floor or chop vegetables for salad, show the child yourself. So, he will know that he can take you as an example. You can also show your interest.
Bad example contagious
If your child uses curses, beats his classmates, then take a look at your actions. Is there a place in your family cursing your spouse or using violence? Children remember well what their parents do and say, unconsciously repeating after them.
Worst parents don’t let children choose
There are cases when parents decide for children literally any question: what kind of clothes they should wear, what kind of food they eat, who to be friends with, what school to study at, what kind of hobby they have. At such moments, adults become too aggressive and tough, not giving the child a choice. This can cause children to do everything in spite of their parents. In some cases, they may steal things that you categorically refuse to buy them.
Such parents tend to raise a real person in a child. They don’t blame children for their blunders, don’t resort to senseless violence, keep themselves calm and see independent individuals in their babies.
Best qualities of the parents:
Best parents constantly show their love
You don’t just say that you love your child, but also often hug and kiss him. In addition to the tactile manifestations of love, you spend a lot of time with your child: playing games, explaining the math problem solution, walking in the park, going to his or her competitions.
Best parents keep themselves in hand
Don’t show your despair to children even in the most tragic situation. When you are angry, it is better to go to another room and count to 10 to calm down. Don’t show your weaknesses to children, show them that any situation should be solved without curse words and anger.
Best parents give their child independence and autonomy
Let your child do what he likes. If he likes to dance more than play football, then let him take part in a dance circle. Let him choose which dish to eat for dinner and which sneakers to choose in the store. But do not abuse freedom. Moderation is the key of success.
Best parents respect and love each other
You and your spouse become an example of how a husband and wife should communicate. Your child sees how you treat each other. Most likely, he will also relate to his future husband or wife, if your example seems good to him. Never use physical violence in the family, don’t dare to swear at the child, respectfully talk with your second half. Harmony in the family is a wonderful environment for the development of a kind and sensible person.
Best parents develop themselves and develop a child
Children often take an example from their parents. Read books, show it is fascinating. Take the children with you to nature or to your sporting events. Help children grow not only in kindergarden or school. Write them in sections and circles, where they will be interested.
A good example is contagious
If you want your child to be healthy and active, then be yourself. Do exercises, go for jogging, play sports. Show that you are not a lazy person who lies on the sofa and watches TV shows. Your example will be for children a powerful motivator for self-improvement.
Best parent is able to provide for his family
Best parent has a steady income and doesn’t limit children to the most basic needs (housing, clothing, food). In today’s world there are many opportunities to make money. If person care about his child, he must be ready to acquire new skills or change activities.
Best parents protect their children
You protect children not only from physical injuries, but also from bad dating, activities and information. Control which sites your child visits, with whom he communicates and where he goes. Your control should not be despotic. Explain to your children in a soft way: give examples of the consequences of communicating with bad companies, what happens at concerts for adults, what properties are in themselves smoking and alcohol, why you cannot visit specific sites. No need to say blurry, the more incomprehensible and stronger your ban, the more the child wants to go to you in defiance.
Raising children is a complex, long-term and laborious process. For each person, this is a test with its own nuances. Be patient, develop yourself and your child if you want him to grow up as a worthy person and feel only safety, love and comfort.