There are many options of baby sleep schedule that seem to be very good. Their authors assure that you can teach the child to baby sleep schedule that is convenient to you. Such methods seem to be almost the solution to all the first time moms’ problems. Including one of the main – lack of sleep.
It is well known that sleep deprivation is the method used in prisons. Therefore, it is not surprising that tired parents cling to every hope for a good sleep. Especially when society tells them that something is wrong with their child. Arguing that normal children do not sleep so much and at such a time as their baby does.
However, why such “norms” and accustoming the child to a convenient for mother baby sleep schedule is not a good idea? To understand the other hand of a baby sleep schedule, imagine the following situation.
You are a classic lark. You get up with a dawn, work fine in the morning, but in the evening you fall off your feet. And after 21 hours just do not feel any force activity. Meanwhile, your husband, who is a classic owl, works best in the evening and therefore stays up late. Over time, the spouse declares that your day rhythm does not suit him, he wants you to go to bed later. He hires the coach to get you on a special sleep schedule. The coach convince that getting up in the morning is pointless and that you should go to bed later. Doesn’t sound very pleasant, does it?
As for baby sleep schedule, we ascribe to it a little more meaningful and goodwill intentions, but it is the same thing.
Why we should not teach children to fall asleep on their own in a certain baby sleep schedule
Sleep is necessary for everyone’s life. We can notice child’s periods of sleep and wakefulness when he is still in the womb. So this is a property of the body which we have coming into the world, and it does not need to be trained.
A newborn child of course knows nothing about the circadian rhythm and just sleeps when he wants. Meanwhile, nature is arranged so that the biorhythm and baby sleep schedule are very quickly formed. This is facilitated by the natural rhythm of the day (i.e. sunrise and sunset) and breastfeeding.
Why shouldn’t we teach the children to fall asleep on a certain baby sleep schedule at the early beginning? Because it violates his natural needs, both in the first week of life and on the fifth. Parents are trying to impose the strict time frame on the child, which does not correspond with his real needs. To do this, they put an active and cheerful child to sleep in a dark room or try to entertain a sleepy child so that he does not sleep for a while.
This has a negative impact on the quality of the child’s sleep and impairs the development of natural biorhythm.
Setting the rigid framework of a baby sleep schedule and ignoring the real needs of the child can lead to behavioral problems in the future. Such children are much more whiny, which among other things causes an unnecessary cortisol levels increasing in the blood.
More tears and stress
In many methods, aimed at accustoming the child to fall asleep by himself in a certain baby sleep schedule, you can find the one and the same explanation for child crying. It is that the crying of children getting accustomed to the regime is resistance to the changes. They deny even the possibility that it may be the result of stress caused by isolation from the mom. What more, according to this concept, crying only confirms progress, and it is usually inevitable. That doesn’t sound too bad. However, this has another side.
When the child stopped crying and calm down, he had learn a very important thing. In his head is fixed that when he calls his mother, no one hears him or respond. This forms the
corresponding view knowledges of the unreliable world.
At the same time, this system affects parents, they also change in some degree. Many of them, being in constant stress from listening to the baby’s crying in another room, become immune to it. They lose an important parental tool of education, namely sympathy and sensitivity.
Waking up at night is ok
In addition, it is necessary to realize that the fact that children often wake up is normal and is dictated by the process of evolution. Adults also often wake up for some time between sleep phases, but most often do not realize it.
Since ancient times, the close mother presence has been crucial for survival. That’s why the baby cries so desperately when he realizes she’s not around. He just sees the situation as a threat. Questions like “does your child sleep at night?” and comparing the child with others are harmful both to children and parents. They make the parents doubt and think there is something wrong with the child.
What can be done to make your child sleep better through the night?
Oddly enough, tired children sleep worse, so do not exhaust the child with games or other activity hoping he will sleep all night. This can only cause fatigue crying and increasing the stress hormone level, which is not conducive to rest.
It is necessary to listen to the child and give him sleep during the day as much as he needs.
It is also worth starting the ritual of preparing the child for bed in advance to give him time to calm down. At the end of the day it is better to avoid activity and emotional things (for example, watching cartoons). A short walk, a warm bath, massage, relaxing music, white noise (dryer / vacuum cleaner), comfortable pajamas – will help your baby to fall asleep quickly and improve the quality of sleep.