Family childbirth is a common practice today. Every woman has the right of her husband presence during labour (or other family member, for example, mother or sister). No special documents are required. You just have to follow certain rules.
Despite its growing popularity, there are still many couples who believe that a family childbirth is a bad option. And there are reasons for that. In any case, the couple should choose how to give birth on their own. The experience of other moms and dads will help to make an objective opinion and make a decision.
Why is family childbirth worth it?
“If he wasn’t nearby, I couldn’t do it!»
Patricia is 32 years old, she has two daughters. Both times it was natural birth with the husband presence during labours. It didn’t seem unusual to Patricia.
“My husband went with me to special classes for pregnant women, we had packed the bag, he took me to the maternity ward, so I could not imagine that he could not be with me during the childbirth. He accompanied me both the first and the second time. He encouraged me, supported me, brought me water. I gave birth to our eldest daughter for eleven hours. If he wasn’t nearby, I couldn’t have done it!»
It should be noted that there are several advantages in the husband presence during labour. A woman on this day, which is one of the most important in her life, does not feel lonely and abandoned. On the contrary, she has support – emotional, mental, physical.
Her husband comforts and encourages in difficult moments, helps to overcome crisis situations, which naturally reduces the feeling of fear. During childbirth, he also often takes care and helps in the everyday things. In addition, the husband presence during labour creates a connection between him and the child as well as strengthen the relationship between the partners.
“I would never want to be alone in the delivery room.»
“My son and husband were present at my birth, and I absolutely do not regret it. Moreover, I recommend it to every woman, – says 28-year-old Natalie. – I would never want to be alone in the delivery room. We went through it together from start to finish and it was an unforgettable experience for everyone.”
“…she has become a hero to me.”
The average modern father is a husband over 30 years old. It has been observed that those who were preparing for a family birth felt less fear before the time than those who came to this spontaneously.
The study shows that the opinions of men about joint childbirth are different. However, the most common answer to the question of whether the perception of your partner has changed was, “Yes, she has become a hero to me.”
Opinion against husband presence during labour
“In previous times the presence of someone other than doctors was not allowed.»
For our mothers and grandmothers, the presence of a man in the maternity ward often seems … whim. “I would never give birth in the husband presence during labour,” says 68-year-old Maria, who gave birth to two children and has five grandchildren.
“In previous times the presence of someone other than doctors was not allowed. But these were completely different times and other norms. I admit that I felt very lonely in the maternity ward. However, for some reason it is still difficult for me to imagine that I gave birth in the husband presence during labour. I probably wouldn’t want that. I think I’d be ashamed. Besides, I don’t think he’d like that. Then childbirth was exclusively a matter of women.”
“He was even more nervous than me”
Even today there are women who would not want their husband presence during labour. Anna admits that she gave birth to the daughter in the husband presence during labour, and it was a mistake.
“He couldn’t stand it,” she says. “It was beyond his powers. He was more nervous than I was. He started arguing with the nurse until she calmed him down. He almost fainted in front of everyone. My husband presence during labour didn’t help me at all, I was just getting more nervous.”
A mentally unstable person may find it difficult to get through this experience. There are many examples of men who… have received psychological trauma after family childbirth. It happens that fathers lose interest in their spouse and their sexual and, as a result, family lives deteriorate.
“…it was the worst decision of my life. I’m sorry, but I haven’t been able to look at my wife as a woman since that.»
One of the Internet users directly writes that he regrets about his presence at the birth.
“It was supposed to be a good experience, I was very happy when my wife invited me to take part in this special moment for our family. But now I have to say that it was the worst decision of my life. I’m sorry, but I haven’t been able to look at my wife as a woman since that. I still can see the blood, sweat and screams behind my eyes. We’ve only made love a few times in the last year because, I remember, her organs during the childbirth, I’m disgusted. I do not know what to do, how to forget these unpleasant memories,” he writes. And he urges other women not to take their husbands to the delivery room.
It is also worth remembering that in justified cases, medical personnel can ask the man to leave the room. This will happen, among other things, when he begins to distract, shout, interrupt, be drunk or if a woman decides she doesn’t want his presence.